Tuesday, September 29, 2015

"Going, Going, Gone! -- Miriam E. Waters"

by Miriam E. Waters

“Who’ll give me three hundred? I’ve got one-fifty!  One-fifty … two hundred. Mister, are you in?  Nice of you to join us.  I’ve got three hundred … three-fifty … four hundred.  Take it to four-fifty.  Got it.  The bid’s yours miss.  Can I get five hundred?  Yes. Hold those numbers high folks.   Five hundred … five hundred-fifty.  Nicely done … time for the rest of you to catch up.  Come on, it’s a gorgeous day and I want to go fishing but can’t until I sell this beautiful trunk!  Six-fifty, do I hear seven hundred?  Seven hundred from the man in the back … thank you sir.  Someone give me seven-fifty.  It’s big, it’s bold, it’s locked!  Don’t you want to know what’s inside?  Give me seven-fifty and you just might find out.  Seven-fifty from the Lady in Red.  Can’t miss you in a crowd.  Eight hundred … eight-fifty.  Did I see you nod or are you falling asleep?  Nine hundred!  Miss, that man just stole back your trunk … you won’t be filling it with your fine linens and petticoats anytime soon.  Nine hundred once, nine hundred twice … one thousand.  Happy to see you came to your senses.  It must be all that red firin’ you up.  Can I get fifteen hundred? Yes sir, the bid’s back to you.  I’ve got fifteen hundred and need two thousand. You’re not gonna let him steal it away from you now, are you my pretty Red Lady?  Two thousand.  Folks, this chest could be filled with all sorts of wondrous goods. Take it home with you and I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.  Can I get twenty-five hundred?  Now’s not the time to back down sir.  He’s back in the game with twenty-five hundred.  Look at the condition of this beauty folks … well preserved, solid brass fittings, you won’t find a nicer trunk outside of your grandma’s bedroom.  Who’s gonna take it to three thousand?  Thank you m’Lady in Red, three thousand.  Your granny would be proud.  Thirty-five hundred.  I knew you had it in you Mister.  You’re going head to head with the scarlet woman right now.  Laaaady … did you come to buy or just eat the free hot dogs? Can you give me four thousand? Four thousand from Red!  Now we’re cooking with peanut oil.  I have four thousand once, four thousand twice. Sold for four thousand to our blushing Lady in Red!  Come on up and pay the man.”
Jeanette blanched.  Had she really just paid four thousand dollars for a TRUNK?  The piece had better be lined with gold and fit into her car.

All Rights Reserved.  September 28, 2015

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